24 August – 8 September 2017
Toi Poneke Gallery
23 September – 15 October 2016
Wellington, New Zealand
I draw heavily on my experience of the world and the things that don’t make sense to me on any level. In particular, I’m interested in the expectations and limitations that society puts on all of us based on our gender, age, sexuality, ethnicity and so on.
My partner and I have taken a journey over the past eight years into childlessness. We were trying to have children for five of those years before we stopped, grieved and moved on. These works respond to this experience and what happens next.
Some of the works refer to the time we spent on the crazy train of fertility treatments. The endless attempts to conceive, month after month after month. Repeatedly doing the same thing and expecting, hoping, keeping all our fingers and toes crossed, that we would get a different result. These works do, undo and redo.
Some works refer to the disenfranchised grief that comes with getting off the crazy train. There’s no funeral, no one died, no one knows what to say and there’s no time off work. This is the harden up princess moment after moment after moment. These works are process driven to distraction.
Some works refer to the search for plan B. What do I do now? All firsts are gone, first steps, first day of school, first grandchild. These works fantasise about the missed bedtime stories and birthday parties.
Some works refer to the shame. The shame of being on the crazy train at the cost of everything else, compounded by the silence during those harden up princess moments. These works speak no evil, hear no evil and see no evil.
Together these works give you a glimpse into the absence and loss of something that never existed. Something that was a twinkle in his eye and a wish in her heart.
Read Caroline McQuarrie’s response to the show in her essay do undo redo.
List of Works
Little Prince, 2 Photographic prints on Hehnemule Photo Rag. 1 at 700 x 1540 mm & 1 at 700 x 560 mm, 2016
Shame triptych, 3 Photographic prints on Hehnemule Photo Rag. 630 x 750 mm each, 2016
100’s & 1000’s, video loop, 43.18 min, 2013
HAPPY, video loop, 9.45 min, 2016
Balloons, video loop, 4.50 min, 2013
do undo redo, video loop, 10.41 min, 2016
Opening at Toi Poneke Gallery
Read my opening speech, Thank you to the women that came before me, and see images of the opening
Art exhibition shines spotlight on childlessness with Ben Irwin for NewsHub on TV3
Regional News – Connecting Wellington, issue 42, October 4 – October 17 2016